Are you tired, yet? This is what comes to mind when I think about how good I've gotten at "holding it all together." Even though I have plenty of sources of support and guidance in my life, I still have somehow come to feel that keeping it together in times of trial and struggle is the best feasible option.Maybe you all have this tendency as well. You grin and smile even though you feel like screaming and crying. You act tough and invincible even though your heart is as soft as jello. You never say no. You take on too much. You go to bed late just to get up early. You eat only if you remember that you haven't yet. You try desperately to make everything be okay when, in all honesty, its not. "Not Okay" in the sense that things are falling apart at the seams and everyday is compounding another Murphy's Law occurrence on top of the hardship that already happened yesterday.
But in the midst of my scramble to hold myself together, lately I have seen how problematic this can be spiritually. Tired all the time. Entirely too pensive causing the mind to always race. Trying to figure out the next 5 steps to take. You could almost say that I don't trust God to be God with how much I try to control the universe! I am realizing now that all while I have been striving to not get bent out of shape, maybe this is precisely what God wanted all along.
In reading Jeremiah 18, the verses 3-4 says:
So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
I think we all have to come to a place of peace with being marred, bent out of shape, and, frankly, a bit jacked up. Because if God is our potter, can He not shape us again as it seems best to Him?
What situations in your life are seemingly out of wack and uncontrollable, complicated and full of stress? Where have you been trying to hold it all together when you feel like falling apart? Will you stop trying to drive the car straight and just let it all fall apart today? Because, even though all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again, we serve the King who makes us new. Makes us over again. Makes us whole. And makes things alright.
